Let’s be clear, I’m not sporty. Anyone who knows me knows that. I have no desire to complete any physical challenges to prove myself. To be physically active I undertake activities I enjoy – swimming, dancing, badminton. I don’t have any targets, I just do it.

I have lots of friends and acquaintances for whom their physical strength and fitness is of great importance to them. That’s fine. We all have our own goals. The problem arises when mental strength is connected to and measured the same way as physical strength.

I think there’s an element of value similar to having money. That if I am physically strong/able, or I have lots of money, then I am a better person. Not necessarily better than others, but better than who I am without money/strength and ultimately more loveable.

Physical strength is impressive, but it doesn’t mean genuine self-acceptance and it also means that the pursuit of physical goals becomes all encompassing. I see too often that people who are injured, or unable to do what they used to, experience a massive drop in their mental health and resilience. Sometimes they are actually engaging in self harm by pushing through pain during exercise – if I can just do this I will be ok, I am successful and worthy. This is a dangerous mindset. No pain no gain is a misconception.

Positive mental wellbeing is the complex network of resilience, self-awareness and acceptance, and emotional intelligence that operates behind the scenes. You can be a weightlifting champion, but struggle with self-doubt or anxiety and struggle with any setbacks in life. Conversely, someone who might not look like the strongest person in the room could possess incredible mental toughness, allowing them to persevere through challenges.

Physical strength is admirable, but mental strength is the unseen power that guides us through life’s challenges. By all means have physical goals, but if not achieving means you struggle mentally, maybe time for a rethink. Work on accepting you for who you are.